I met Karen when I was feeling particularly out of my depth with parenting my older two children. Having recently moved countries and had a baby. I was incredibly impressed by Karen. She is a wonderful communicator/presenter with wisdom and an approach that makes sense and is ACTUALLY helpful and effective. Karen, is warm, empathic, funny and incredibly kind. She normalizes your experiences and empowers you to move forward with skills and hope. I must mention her generosity in terms of going above and beyond to provide support. This was not my first endeavor to focus on my parenting so I was skeptical before working with Karen; however I am so glad I did. She is FANTASTIC! If you have the opportunity to work with Karen - do it. You wont regret. Feel incredibly grateful to have met this inspiring and wise parenting expert.
– Bonnie, children ages 11 and 7
Karen's coaching has made such a positive impact on our family life. She provides a completely different perspective to challenging behavior which in turn has allowed me greater empathy and patience towards my children. CPS provides a practical framework for dealing with issues, and feedback from Karen really helped solidify the approach for my specific situation. I enjoy being with my children more and feel better equipped to deal with challenges due to my new understanding of their needs. My frustration is less, and I am much happier with my parenting style. The changes do not happen overnight as it involves skill building for both the parent and child, but I believe this has been a real turning point for our family. The response from my children to the changes I have made have been amazing, surprising, and rewarding!
– Gwendolyn, children ages 7 and 4
My wife and I were fortunate enough to work with Karen. With her help and CPS, we increased the joy, serenity, and respect in our family life. Karen quickly taught me to transform what had been frustrating, repetitive interactions with my daughter into respectful and effective partnership that is more effective, honest, and light-hearted. This deepened our relationship, improved our problem solving, and strengthened my child's self-esteem. What a relief! It has been not only effective and heartening, but pleasant, for all of us. I recommend Karen and CPS to any family. It is the most helpful thing I have done as a parent to improve how my daughter and I interact. I wish I had found it sooner. Thank you, Karen, for making my relationship with my daughter better than I could have imagined.
- Eric, daughter age 9
There aren’t enough words to express how grateful I am for the constant support, guidance and instruction that Karen has given my husband and me. I am in awe of what she does. I wish all parents had a Karen in their lives. The world would be a much happier place.
- Melissa, son age 17
Karen’s advice is very practical and she gives tons of tips which you can use right away. Often when we read parenting books, we search for the wording that we can use in our personal situations, and Karen gives you exactly what you need to put into practice with your own kids. I highly recommend her workshops and coaching sessions!
- Grace, sons ages 12 and 14
My experience with Karen Kraut and the CPS approach provided me the opportunity to see my parenting techniques through a completely different lens. Many of my parenting practices were inherited from my own mother and father, and although those methods may have been successful 40 years ago, I wasn’t convinced that they were the most effective strategies to use today. Additionally, I began to realize that I didn’t like what I was resorting to and who I was becoming during conflicts with my girls. Although I wouldn’t necessarily define my children as “difficult,” the day to day ordinary challenges became more and more overwhelming for me and I was only armed with the same multigenerational approaches that my parents had inherited. I am so grateful to have learned another practical approach to address everyday parenting challenges and at the same time provide the groundwork for a very healthy and collaborative relationship with my children. Karen’s patience, empathy and understanding during the five week process was without a doubt paramount to my success in adopting the CPS methodology. Karen has the unique talent of balancing the introduction of this atypical, yet extremely effective, approach to parenting while at the same time empathizing and understanding how each of our unique challenges are incorporated into a successful outcome. There is no doubt that her impact will result in a much more meaningful relationship with my girls.
– Aimee, children ages 3 and 2
I was tired of using threats and punishments to get my kids to do things. In fact, my biggest problem with the behavior of my children was listening to myself! I really couldn't deal with my way of parenting any longer. When things were going well, there were no issues. But if there was a conflict I'd pull out my time-tested, highly ineffective bag of tricks that I learned from my own parents. Included were all the typical techniques such as counting to three and then punishing, telling kids what they had to do, and problem solving for them when issues emerged. After working with Karen, I understood exactly what had been bothering me about my parenting (not to mention, my own parents!) all along. There was no collaboration in the problem- solving process. Karen has such valuable insights; she helped me understand, in a totally nonjudgmental environment, how to use CPS for problem solving and most importantly, to strengthen the bond between parents and kids. Very quickly I saw a huge improvement in my children's behaviors and my youngest daughter told me, for the first time, "Mommy, you understand me". I no longer hate listening to myself and I feel that my parenting has become more positive and effective in a few short weeks."
– Mother of daughters ages 13, 11 and 7.
I've taken Karen's parent workshop and worked with her privately as a coach on implementing the skills taught in the training. All of my interactions with Karen as a group leader and coach have been incredibly helpful. She's a great combination of compassionate, smart, and insightful. Everyone in these groups seem to feel the same way and she has a very loyal group of parents who continue to seek her counsel at different phases of their children's lives. My strong belief is that any parent could benefit from these services!
- Liz, children ages 7 and 4
I felt that my autocratic Plan A style was "working" with my boys as they were mostly complying and responding to me. But upon reflection they weren't necessarily behaving well when I wasn't around, and much more importantly, they weren't developing the skills necessary to manage their behavior independently as they grow or feeling heard or connected to me as a parent. I came to appreciate how much of what I saw as strong and decisive and structured was, at this stage, modeling a lack of empathy or interest in their needs - which is actually quite contrary to most of our other interactions and must be confusing to them.
So with these takeaways in mind - more empathy for the child and their needs, more focus on collaborative solutions, and more effort to model and build developmental skills within the interaction approach - within the first 24 hours I've had Plan B style conversations with each boy and the chance for a quick Spontaneous B discussion with our 6 year old. I'm certainly not a pro yet, but all went well. I'd say we're off to a good start, thanks to Karen's guidance.
– Sean, sons ages 8 and 6
We were in a very dark place before we worked with Karen and knew we had to do something but had no idea what. Beyond the tools which she shared with us, I think the opportunity to have some space and time to reflect in a structured way on where we are and how we got there and how we might break the cycle has been therapeutic. It has been a relief to meet others who are struggling with the same issues and have had the courage to share their experiences, good and bad, openly. Having a child with challenging behavior has been hugely isolating; I have certainly felt less isolated over the past 6 weeks with the support of the group. Perhaps most importantly my husband and I feel we have shifted our mindset and once again started to see our son for the beautiful little boy he is. Funny how our values had become so disconnected from own behavior and in many respects it pains me to say that I think our son may have been mirroring our own behavior toward him. Our son has sensed a shift in our attitude toward him and I genuinely believe that we are entering into a more positive cycle that will benefit each member of our family as an individual and as a family unit. Clearly there will be challenges ahead, particularly over the coming weeks, and I believe this will be a truly iterative process with successes as well as failures which we will learn from in equal measure. I believe that as parents we will be better equipped to meet the needs of all our children through this process. For this, I am eternally grateful to Karen and the group.
– Michelle, children ages 4, 2, and 9 months
I have had dramatic success with the Collaborative Problem Solving approach. The idea that kids will do well when they can (as opposed to when they want to) has become my mantra. I had been struggling with the same behavioral problem over and over again, and this Karen gave me the tools to identify the root of the problem, and to work with my daughter to develop skills to overcome the problem. In addition to making my household more peaceful, this approach helps my daughter to develop skills that will be useful in all areas of her life. Karen is a fabulous teacher and coach. She did a great job of presenting the material, and she created a very supportive environment for the parents to share their stores. I highly recommend Karen and CPS to anyone who feels that their current approach to parenting is not working.
– Sally, children ages 9 and 7
Taking Karen's class was like hitting a reset button. Things had gone from bad to worse at home and I knew we needed to make some changes. The classes helped me to step back and look at things from a wider perspective and realize this was an opportunity to really help my son develop life long skills and grow from a little boy into a man. Thank you, Karen, for showing us how to implement a more effective approach to handling challenging behavior.
– Amy, children ages 8 and 22 months
I wanted to thank you for the wonderful course over the last five weeks. It has been a hugely beneficial course for me - I feel confident in the new parenting tools I am practicing and I am sure with time it will become second nature for all our family. It’s so hard knowing what the ‘right’ strategies are when kids are having a tough time but CPS gives me a strong framework with empirical evidence behind it giving me so much more confidence. I will be sure to be signing up my husband too!
– Amy, children ages 5 and 3
A very heartfelt thank you for the CPS training we just finished (or rather, the journey we are just starting....). The underlying principles are so strong, and the methods make perfect sense. Implementing will be the challenge! But, in addition to the skills Karen helped me get started with, I've also gotten to take a new look at my own dynamic with my son, and I can see that it could use improvement. I'm hoping very much that this can be the start of a new chapter in our relationship.
- Emily, children ages 4 years and 18 months
Karen, thank you for everything you’ve done for our parenting. We’re by no means perfect but I do think you’ve given us some invaluable skills to which I can see the boys responding well. I’m so glad you’re doing this work. Giving parenting advice without shaming or blaming the parents and fostering empathy between parents and kids is an amazing talent/gift.
- Jamaica Plain couple, sons ages 6 and 4
Mom: "Do you notice anything different since Daddy and I took the class?"
6 year old son: "Yes, you can read my mind, Mommy. (pause) No, not my mind...you can read my feelings."
- Mother of children ages 6 and 4
This is the training that the after school staff members had about 4 years ago with Dr. Stuart Ablon of MGH, and we immediately changed our approach to "behavior management" of the Extended Day kids – and we immediately saw (and continue to see) the positive results.
– Barbara Popkin, Program Director, Lincoln Extended Day
I had been excusing my preteens' new difficult behaviors with the onset of adolescence. But now I know the tools to problem-solve situations and enjoy the teen years.
– Mother of children ages 12 and 10
– Bonnie, children ages 11 and 7
Karen's coaching has made such a positive impact on our family life. She provides a completely different perspective to challenging behavior which in turn has allowed me greater empathy and patience towards my children. CPS provides a practical framework for dealing with issues, and feedback from Karen really helped solidify the approach for my specific situation. I enjoy being with my children more and feel better equipped to deal with challenges due to my new understanding of their needs. My frustration is less, and I am much happier with my parenting style. The changes do not happen overnight as it involves skill building for both the parent and child, but I believe this has been a real turning point for our family. The response from my children to the changes I have made have been amazing, surprising, and rewarding!
– Gwendolyn, children ages 7 and 4
My wife and I were fortunate enough to work with Karen. With her help and CPS, we increased the joy, serenity, and respect in our family life. Karen quickly taught me to transform what had been frustrating, repetitive interactions with my daughter into respectful and effective partnership that is more effective, honest, and light-hearted. This deepened our relationship, improved our problem solving, and strengthened my child's self-esteem. What a relief! It has been not only effective and heartening, but pleasant, for all of us. I recommend Karen and CPS to any family. It is the most helpful thing I have done as a parent to improve how my daughter and I interact. I wish I had found it sooner. Thank you, Karen, for making my relationship with my daughter better than I could have imagined.
- Eric, daughter age 9
There aren’t enough words to express how grateful I am for the constant support, guidance and instruction that Karen has given my husband and me. I am in awe of what she does. I wish all parents had a Karen in their lives. The world would be a much happier place.
- Melissa, son age 17
Karen’s advice is very practical and she gives tons of tips which you can use right away. Often when we read parenting books, we search for the wording that we can use in our personal situations, and Karen gives you exactly what you need to put into practice with your own kids. I highly recommend her workshops and coaching sessions!
- Grace, sons ages 12 and 14
My experience with Karen Kraut and the CPS approach provided me the opportunity to see my parenting techniques through a completely different lens. Many of my parenting practices were inherited from my own mother and father, and although those methods may have been successful 40 years ago, I wasn’t convinced that they were the most effective strategies to use today. Additionally, I began to realize that I didn’t like what I was resorting to and who I was becoming during conflicts with my girls. Although I wouldn’t necessarily define my children as “difficult,” the day to day ordinary challenges became more and more overwhelming for me and I was only armed with the same multigenerational approaches that my parents had inherited. I am so grateful to have learned another practical approach to address everyday parenting challenges and at the same time provide the groundwork for a very healthy and collaborative relationship with my children. Karen’s patience, empathy and understanding during the five week process was without a doubt paramount to my success in adopting the CPS methodology. Karen has the unique talent of balancing the introduction of this atypical, yet extremely effective, approach to parenting while at the same time empathizing and understanding how each of our unique challenges are incorporated into a successful outcome. There is no doubt that her impact will result in a much more meaningful relationship with my girls.
– Aimee, children ages 3 and 2
I was tired of using threats and punishments to get my kids to do things. In fact, my biggest problem with the behavior of my children was listening to myself! I really couldn't deal with my way of parenting any longer. When things were going well, there were no issues. But if there was a conflict I'd pull out my time-tested, highly ineffective bag of tricks that I learned from my own parents. Included were all the typical techniques such as counting to three and then punishing, telling kids what they had to do, and problem solving for them when issues emerged. After working with Karen, I understood exactly what had been bothering me about my parenting (not to mention, my own parents!) all along. There was no collaboration in the problem- solving process. Karen has such valuable insights; she helped me understand, in a totally nonjudgmental environment, how to use CPS for problem solving and most importantly, to strengthen the bond between parents and kids. Very quickly I saw a huge improvement in my children's behaviors and my youngest daughter told me, for the first time, "Mommy, you understand me". I no longer hate listening to myself and I feel that my parenting has become more positive and effective in a few short weeks."
– Mother of daughters ages 13, 11 and 7.
I've taken Karen's parent workshop and worked with her privately as a coach on implementing the skills taught in the training. All of my interactions with Karen as a group leader and coach have been incredibly helpful. She's a great combination of compassionate, smart, and insightful. Everyone in these groups seem to feel the same way and she has a very loyal group of parents who continue to seek her counsel at different phases of their children's lives. My strong belief is that any parent could benefit from these services!
- Liz, children ages 7 and 4
I felt that my autocratic Plan A style was "working" with my boys as they were mostly complying and responding to me. But upon reflection they weren't necessarily behaving well when I wasn't around, and much more importantly, they weren't developing the skills necessary to manage their behavior independently as they grow or feeling heard or connected to me as a parent. I came to appreciate how much of what I saw as strong and decisive and structured was, at this stage, modeling a lack of empathy or interest in their needs - which is actually quite contrary to most of our other interactions and must be confusing to them.
So with these takeaways in mind - more empathy for the child and their needs, more focus on collaborative solutions, and more effort to model and build developmental skills within the interaction approach - within the first 24 hours I've had Plan B style conversations with each boy and the chance for a quick Spontaneous B discussion with our 6 year old. I'm certainly not a pro yet, but all went well. I'd say we're off to a good start, thanks to Karen's guidance.
– Sean, sons ages 8 and 6
We were in a very dark place before we worked with Karen and knew we had to do something but had no idea what. Beyond the tools which she shared with us, I think the opportunity to have some space and time to reflect in a structured way on where we are and how we got there and how we might break the cycle has been therapeutic. It has been a relief to meet others who are struggling with the same issues and have had the courage to share their experiences, good and bad, openly. Having a child with challenging behavior has been hugely isolating; I have certainly felt less isolated over the past 6 weeks with the support of the group. Perhaps most importantly my husband and I feel we have shifted our mindset and once again started to see our son for the beautiful little boy he is. Funny how our values had become so disconnected from own behavior and in many respects it pains me to say that I think our son may have been mirroring our own behavior toward him. Our son has sensed a shift in our attitude toward him and I genuinely believe that we are entering into a more positive cycle that will benefit each member of our family as an individual and as a family unit. Clearly there will be challenges ahead, particularly over the coming weeks, and I believe this will be a truly iterative process with successes as well as failures which we will learn from in equal measure. I believe that as parents we will be better equipped to meet the needs of all our children through this process. For this, I am eternally grateful to Karen and the group.
– Michelle, children ages 4, 2, and 9 months
I have had dramatic success with the Collaborative Problem Solving approach. The idea that kids will do well when they can (as opposed to when they want to) has become my mantra. I had been struggling with the same behavioral problem over and over again, and this Karen gave me the tools to identify the root of the problem, and to work with my daughter to develop skills to overcome the problem. In addition to making my household more peaceful, this approach helps my daughter to develop skills that will be useful in all areas of her life. Karen is a fabulous teacher and coach. She did a great job of presenting the material, and she created a very supportive environment for the parents to share their stores. I highly recommend Karen and CPS to anyone who feels that their current approach to parenting is not working.
– Sally, children ages 9 and 7
Taking Karen's class was like hitting a reset button. Things had gone from bad to worse at home and I knew we needed to make some changes. The classes helped me to step back and look at things from a wider perspective and realize this was an opportunity to really help my son develop life long skills and grow from a little boy into a man. Thank you, Karen, for showing us how to implement a more effective approach to handling challenging behavior.
– Amy, children ages 8 and 22 months
I wanted to thank you for the wonderful course over the last five weeks. It has been a hugely beneficial course for me - I feel confident in the new parenting tools I am practicing and I am sure with time it will become second nature for all our family. It’s so hard knowing what the ‘right’ strategies are when kids are having a tough time but CPS gives me a strong framework with empirical evidence behind it giving me so much more confidence. I will be sure to be signing up my husband too!
– Amy, children ages 5 and 3
A very heartfelt thank you for the CPS training we just finished (or rather, the journey we are just starting....). The underlying principles are so strong, and the methods make perfect sense. Implementing will be the challenge! But, in addition to the skills Karen helped me get started with, I've also gotten to take a new look at my own dynamic with my son, and I can see that it could use improvement. I'm hoping very much that this can be the start of a new chapter in our relationship.
- Emily, children ages 4 years and 18 months
Karen, thank you for everything you’ve done for our parenting. We’re by no means perfect but I do think you’ve given us some invaluable skills to which I can see the boys responding well. I’m so glad you’re doing this work. Giving parenting advice without shaming or blaming the parents and fostering empathy between parents and kids is an amazing talent/gift.
- Jamaica Plain couple, sons ages 6 and 4
Mom: "Do you notice anything different since Daddy and I took the class?"
6 year old son: "Yes, you can read my mind, Mommy. (pause) No, not my mind...you can read my feelings."
- Mother of children ages 6 and 4
This is the training that the after school staff members had about 4 years ago with Dr. Stuart Ablon of MGH, and we immediately changed our approach to "behavior management" of the Extended Day kids – and we immediately saw (and continue to see) the positive results.
– Barbara Popkin, Program Director, Lincoln Extended Day
I had been excusing my preteens' new difficult behaviors with the onset of adolescence. But now I know the tools to problem-solve situations and enjoy the teen years.
– Mother of children ages 12 and 10